How To Cope With Loss

                                                         How To Cope With Loss

For many months as a caregiver or a family member you have been on this physical and emotional rollercoaster.  Caring for a sick loved one, but now they are not longer there having passed.

The first few days, is usually very hectic with preparations as well as greeting friends and family who have come to pay their respects.  First, I would recommend and for as much our society feels it is morbid, pre-arrange the funeral, make as much preparation before as possible. Usually in the first few hours and days after the passing, the numbing of mind and body takes over, so if much has been arranged, it makes things easier.

So the funeral is over, the friends and relatives have gone back to their own lives, you are now left to not only to handle your own grief, but that of others in the family, that is looking to you for support.

Here is the key:

Seek time for you to grieve.  Many people jump right back into work and bury their grief so deep that years later they still have not dealt with those emotions and it resurfaces later.  Please don’t do this.

1. Seek out someone who has gone through the bereavement process.  They can walk this road with you and at times give you clarity.

1. Do you enjoy music or gardening or perhaps meditation, these also can help.

1. Speak of your loved one as often as you would like.  There are many things that you might have learned from this one.  And in the weeks and months to come, there will be a lot of time to reflect on these things.

The French author Francois Muriac had these words to say “We are, all of us moulded by those who have loved us. And though these may have passed we remain never the less…Their Work…It is a work they very likely do not recognize and it never exactly what they intended.  No love and no friendship can ever cross the path of your destiny, without leaving some mark upon it forever”

Sometimes the person that has crossed held great significance in our lives; we remember the things that they taught us.  Perhaps if it was a father figure, he might have taught us about changing the tires on a car or even how to fix electrical wiring, without killing ourselves.

Or if its mom, perhaps her homemade preserves on warm bread filled you with delight.  You see, our loved ones taught us many things and in some cases made us who we are today.  We miss their physical presence and rightly so.

The bottom line through this grief process is to “Take Time To Grieve” by doing this we honour our feelings and our emotions.  This process takes time, so be patient with yourself and others.

Honour the memories of your loved ones.

I recommend again, speaking particularly with someone who has suffered a loss and have gone through this grieving process.  By doing this you will find some peace and they might be able to answer questions that someone else might not be able to.

If all else fails, please remember that despite the fact that the physical body is gone, the love that they have for you did not die with them. If anything it is stronger.

The world that they are in is one of pure love, pure peace.  Even though they are not with you in the physical body, they are with you in spirit.  And there will be a time, when your soul with leave this earth plane, you will have the privilege to meet and greet all those that have gone before you.

In the meantime, honour your grief and those of your loved ones.  This gives you the strength to help other family members to cope.

Death is another part of the” journey of our soul”.  Life does go on in another plane of existence.